i like it here

urban whoring

i've been looking through my past posts and it occured to me how incredibly boring they are. all this talk of hamsters, household and feelings... ngars.

maybe this is the burned out, urbanite phase? where the best adventure is within manila and poetry is as visual as it gets. methinks i need a redirection.

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mama hamster dora is almost blind. damn female child of hers keeps fighting with her. yes, yes, i know that female hamsters are territorial but there are four of them in this one big cage and only one is male. yung isang anak na babae lang yung laging umaaway sa kanya. yung isa naman, minor scuffles lang.

grabe. both her eyes are so swollen and when she opens her eyes, they are just mere slits. there is also caked blood around her eyes and nose. she also has a wound at her side. i so seriously wanted to feed that ungrateful wench to kipkip, astig and the two dogs all at the same time.

how incredibly awful. walang utang na loob. leche.

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i just finished "the devil wears prada"...

what an incredibly impossible boss. you're almost grateful it's fiction and doesn't happen in real life. ALMOST. or doesn't it?

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thanks to maddie's incredible researching skills (shucks! i wish i went to law school too :p)...we finally found janna!

and here we were even thinking of putting up a "where is janna?" persona on friendster.

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i started this blog as some sort of way to get back into writing. to shake of the literary cobwebs. after many months, i'm still to get back into "fight" form (as favorite person celine lopez would say). sigh.

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lion king on tv while i'm writing this. is it me or does everybody think that the "erotic" scene with nala and simba is pretty hard to take? you just CANT make animated lions sexy, you know?

everytime i see it, i really find it supremely hard not to roll my eyes. too much.

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i want my own business!!! kahit maliit ang kita basta enough for it to run, pay rent, salaries and earn enough (as in kahit P30,000 net profit a month, masaya na ko. that's really small. even for a small business.) but that's what i'd like to handle.

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i found it

heaven for P2,500 translates to four glorious hours in the hands of The Army--trained masseuse, skin specialists and salon experts.

praying that i get my period early next week so i can go ahead and reserve my Litho-Cal Seaweed Body Peel, Essential Deep Cleansing Facial, Foot Reflex Spa, and Mind & Body Harmony Massage at Suriya on May 3. I'm giddy, really :)

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i really miss jon :)

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magpapayaman ako!

this morning before i left for work, i asked our maid if she could change my bedsheets. when i got home today, mission accomplished. i was already happy about this simple thing when, lo and behold, i saw how she also fixed the more than 2 books, 3 magazines under my pillow...all neatly lined up evenly under my pillow. hee hee =)

stig.

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luxe ho

ever since being inducted into the fine, fine world of spas by the gargoyles, i have become somewhat addicted.

ang saraaaaaaaaaap.

i never thought i'd look at a spa as a retreat. i've always looked at spa-goers as snooty rich kids who are too bratty to take a little stress. but man, oh man, as soon as i put on that bathrobe and start smelling massage oil, i know why they do it =)

i haven't shopped as much in months as much as i used to plainly because i'd rather be spa-whore than shoe-whore...at least for the next five more months =)

guess where someone'll be on her birthday.

if i wasn't the last virgin in manila, i'd say swedish is better than sex =)

ahuhuhu :p

feeling oprah list #1

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...
(in no particular order)
1. McDonalds' caramel sundae
2. crazy cat antics
3. smiling babies who i don't know
4. massage oil and a good set of massaging hands
5. getting a good tan
6. hearing a favorite obscure song on the radio
7. watching movies with a good tub of popcorn

oops... my boss just came in. sigh. there's a cloud again.

ngars

leftlike

the night,
long as it is black,
dwindles
like a foghorn
reverberating
through the mist-hung
streets of drab London.

the name,
the ancient droning
it calls,
a dutiful prayer
for damned hearts
hoping for a breath
more substantial than air.

this night,
lost as it is cold,
embraces
the cool grayness
of buildings
still awake when the rest
are smiling in their dreams.

-zane

wrote this a looooong time ago and i'm reading it now and can only remember a quarter of what it was about. sheesh.

ps. comments are welcome. thank you :)

idolatry

just to make an announcement:

i have an intense crush on jon peter lewis: 24 years old, would like to pursue medicine, speaks fluent spanish and reminds people of aaron neville...

eek...he is so adorable!

visit http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/jon_peter_lewis/index.htm

thus far

just some updates to give me something else to think about while in hellhole aka office. no good read here:

1. gave away 2 hamsters... one of the older ones gave birth to another two. di na yata talaga mauubos

2. went to a fishing beach in calatagan last sunday. dami isda tsaka starfish tsaka sea urchin *takot* tsaka isang sea snake and a fish that's called dapa-think of a silver-colored fish on its side, then i-rolling pin mo tapos tanggalin mo yung fins, that's how it looked like. pero namatay si dapa kasi pinaglaruan ng driver namin. one of my nephews, archie, tried to grill a starfish that he fed beer (ahehehehe). we also went there with my brother's pitbull running about in the water playing catch. never have i been gladder that i'm heavy and cannot be thrown during catch.

3. went to section EB interviews of TLS. why is it that fewer and fewer people seem to be running for editorship? as an aside, though, sometime ago, i seem to have gotten the reputation among TLS "newer" ones as the know-it-all. what did i do? that hurts. true, kasi may pagka-yabang naman ako (especially dati), but i never purposely stepped on anyone's personal rights or feelings. parang ang dating, "yan si zane, feeling lang yan kasi loser siya talaga eh". fiddlesticks. they should see the insecure-weeping wreck that i am now. that'll make their day. i wonder who started it and why?

4. some pms-induced melodrama arising from a probable jinx

5. am fucking irritated at our president's secretary. she keeps asking for copies of my boss' weekly accomplishment report (which comes from me because i'm the one who facilitates the office goings-on) for her minutes of the meeting daw. palibhasa kasi di nakikinig during the actual meeting to actually take minutes of what IS being discussed. and she has the gall to tell me stuff when i can't answer her question. stuff like "you should be more responsible", "make the effort na alamin mo yan". eh anak ng tokwa ka pala eh! eh di sana kung nakikinig ka sa meeting di mo na pinagtatatanong yan... serious superiority complex here. makes me want to work for a struggling-no-name company. ngars.

6. still not promoted (i feel like aragorn, "still not king...still not king". although i dont have a pretty elven maid waiting for me after :) )

7. will be going to batangas again tomorrow and be home wednesday night. agenda: sleep, drink and chop down a coconut tree with my bare hands.

8. been praying more than usual this last couple of days. not because its holy week but because i want the courage to do right thing and the conviction to actually do it. dear god, this is nerve-wracking.

9. when do i quit? before elections/after elections? not quit at all and turn my brain into some kind of corporate cooking pot?

10. or maybe i can move somewhere? disappear for a while, change my name and my colors...

11. want to watch The Passion of the Christ. maganda daw eh.

more rants later.

tulle, the wind, and maybe some brownies...

:)

that's a vague title. but its the most uncompromising way of putting it without getting someone into trouble :)

i can't seem to swallow how i'm starting to believe in all the stupid, cliche things--many of which are actually "happy stuff". i've started to dream about such things again but some part of me says not to because...well...maybe i don't have the right to think like that :)

the king and i

getting to know you...getting to know more about you...

i'm learning all my limits in a lot of things. some things i've discovered are making me sad but at least i know now how and what i want :)

ey, if any of you have time, better check out this song "you belong to me" by jason wade (so that's the name of lifehouse's main singer!). just got the tip from cel during lunch today. its nice and quiet and simple and even high school puppy-love-ish as only jason/lifehouse can do decently :)

pms

this sounds kinda weird but its funny, and i really respect the insight...

sometimes, it's best to make decisions when your're pms-ing. nothing like the monthly blues to make you so honest about what you really don't like/enjoy in your own life.

sure, the stands/decisions made can be more emotional than sensible but i'd rather be deemed stupid than lonely and cold :)

decide with your heart, and deal with the consequences with your head :) guaranteed recipe for trouble but at least you feel like your really living and not just in your head :)

annie lennox...

...can remake a song so well :)

gosh i am so vague... yes, i'm pms-ing but its no excuse he he he :)

i want to go on a picnic on a nice windy day with the friendliest golden retriever. with an old fashioned picnic basket and a red-checked picnic cloth. i'll wear a white sundress, abaca slippers, bring champagne and toast to the sunset.

here's to trouble!

stay or leave

dave matthews is a god. understatement of the century coming from me. but he just knows how to speak, you know :)

stay or leave
i want you not to go
but you did
it was good
oh good
so what to do
with the rest of the days
afternoons?
isn't it strange?
did i do all
that i should?

we would change the world
but the world is changing us

i want to go to sleep now. please.