i like it here

there are things people do, say, and believe that they themselves don't understand. but, god bless them, the people around them somehow manage to (or at least try to) understand.

everyone has their own value system and set of priorities, and it's not always easy to leave them to it. respecting where one is coming from, more often than not, may be inconvenient for others. but we've all somehow gotten used to it because, well, we are people and can not live alone.

to djong and koryn, thanks so much for respecting mine =) i was tamad the first night, now i'm not feeling comfortable going out when my parents will worry (i know i'm 25, though =) ). i understand i'm not being very likeable but thanks for trying to see where i'm coming from. i know i haven't been the best co-conspirator recently but i am sincerely grateful for your understanding.

i guess i have no choice now but to actually be part of this shindig, eh?

daghang salamat =)

somehow, people understanding our daily decisions is something we've taken for granted because we do the same thing to others. but when one slows down and takes a look at the little inconveniences these mean to those around us... well, that kind of acceptance is just pleasantly unfathomable =)

Some gems taken from our favorite miscreant... LIST OF BART SIMPSON'S BLACKBOARD QUOTATIONS:

I will not waste chalk
I will not instigate revolution
I did not see Elvis
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not cut corners (It actually looks like this:
I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS
" " " " " "
" " " " " ")
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not show off (This was written in an "Olde English"-style font)
Spitwads are not free speech
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will finish what I star (This appears on one line; the rest is blank)
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not carve gods
I will not spank others
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not conduct my own fire drills
My name is not Dr. Death
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
I will not eat things for money
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
No one is interested in my underpants
I will not sell miracle cures
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will never win an Emmy (This was the first episode after 1992-93 Emmy nominations were announced, the first time the show was eligible for "Best Comedy Series", but it wasn't nominated (the show has won "Best Animated Show" Emmys in the past)
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
I am not deliciously saucy
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
Beans are neither fruit nor musical

this is my friend, ged, and his nephew miggy boy doing what the kid calls "baho-baho"... ged just might kill me but the mini-me-ness of the whole photo is just too precious for words =)

A Personal Thing© 2001 Neil Gaiman and Graham K. Smith

Tracing your face in the way it all started
Eyes like assassins, we cried when we parted
Shimmy and slip like the mists of December
I close my eyes and I try to remember

Now I need you here like a kite needs a string
I need you more than I need anything
I want you back but I'm too proud to say it out loud
It's a personal thing

Starlight and moonlight and madness and heaven
You made me all that I am: you're forgiven
The touch of your hand or the feel of your finger
Memories cut through my heart and they linger on...

I need you here like a bird needs to sing
I need you more than I need anything
I want you back but I'm too proud to say it out loud
It's a personal thing

Every cold mile between us is painful
All of the words we could never unsay in full
Moments are magical, pain universal
Frozen like ice and it's just too damn personal

I need you here like a dream needs a wing
I need you more than I need anything
I want you back but I'm too proud to say it out loud
It's a personal thing

(Purportedly a song from the Flashgirls, sung by a ghost who still haunts the house of his/her lover.)

What is Flashgirls and where can I get a copy? Hey you, yes you who's reading this, maybe you can help me out =)

purty!

...in this here city of smiles, i have formally left my professional home of almost three years. trust the fates to make it the same day as bombings rocking the country while lovers give me a haha-you're-alone-look *mutter mutter*

(it's getting mighty scary living in these islands now. we really need someone with stronger political will. overheard: "naku, they bombed davao? papatayin sila ni duterte"... at this point, vigilante state heads are starting to look mighty sexy.)

first day right out of work, i anchored myself in front of the telly with arce's queso real ice cream-one quarter, baby! none of that wimpy pint schtick. normally, i'm in a grieving mood every feb. 15 but it was just too happy a day. this annual mourning is due to the fact that feb. 15, 1992 was the day that (eep embarrassing) the new kids on the block came for a show at folk arts theater. my 13 year-old self had saved and saved and saved to be able to go but my parents wouldn't have it. death to the 13 year-old.

also spent a lot of time looking for good second-hand deals on cars, notebooks, digicams, phones and, well, vintage clothes. found a new way to curb the shopping bug now--online window shopping! i get the ideas i get when i'm at the mall, while decreasing my wallet's stress levels.

anyhoo, feb. 15 was good and fattening. today, feb. 16 was a little more productive. i never got to do my annual time-to-throw/give-away-things-spring-cleaning for the past coupla years and the mess has piled up, up, up. i'm one-fourths done already. managed to eat chocolates while getting knackered cleaning.

very scattered post. bad writer! bad writer!

and although i hate how valentine's has been commercialized, it IS a little sad to see all that red, hearts, flowers, chocolates and icky melting smiles...and have no one to snuggle to and criticize all of that with =) hee =)

it's no secret but i do miss the boy, who's currently in vienna for training. que galing no! going places, my beloved =)

anyhoo, i do believe in all things mushy...just as long as the point is sincere and not just to fit in with the rest of the world's definition of love and romance.

on to more important things: why oh why is friendster not recognizing my email? invalid daw! but i need my fix of self-esteem via testimonials. anak ng tilapia naman oh! heeellppp!!!

Unlike dogs, cats don’t seem to want to call attention to themselves when they’re doing something good. No yap-yap-yapping-hey-follow-me or puppy dog eyes just asking for attention.

Cats, vain as they are, will only call attention to themselves when they are hungry or when they want you to come and appreciate their beauty.

We lost our beloved Kipkip to bladder complication two mornings ago (Feb. 7, 2005). It’s been a morose past few days, not having him around to wake us up with his weird extra elongated meow. Not seeing him balk at every new inanimate object, jump in surprise at nothing, or do backward somersaults. It’s not the same knowing our fat Siamese is no longer around.

He loved to sit or lie near windows and stare outside. Most of the time he would just sleep. Nothing beats the satisfaction of hearing him purr when you’re caressing him. Siamese kasi kaya mataas ang standards, di mo basta-basta mapapa-purr.

For a while, late nights with the computer (when everyone else has gone up) wasn’t as scary because he would be in the background, asleep or making all manner of noise in the kitchen.

Playing with him was like a GP version of X-Factor---“Escape the claws and teeth of this creature”! He would always jump so high to try and capture all manner of fake prey.

I remember when we first got him. He was given to my sister in 2001 and was promptly carried home inside a backpack =)



He saved our lives, that cat. At the time when extreme homefront drama was the order of the day, his uncalled for “intermission numbers” would have us smiling instantly...and our family would survive for the day, and the next day, and so forth.

Being a cat, he soon devoted a lot of his time and energy to being the center of our world, as all cats are wont to do. And we welcomed it because it gave us something happier and better to think and worry about. Every single toy we bought him, for example, would die within 15 minutes of play.

I remember the first time he woke us up with that operatic meow. Me and my sister were suddenly witness to an extra loud “meeh-yoooow-woooow-eeeoooo-wooooow-weeee-yeeeeooooooowwwww-woooooohhhh-meeeooouwwww-oooowww-eeeee-ooow”. And we were both laughing, 15 seconds into it.

He never minded it when we imitated him whenever he would stand up somewhere and “bellow”. We would bellow back and that will be an easy 3-minute cycle of cat talk.

He also never minded when my three year-old godson, Riches, would squeeze the bejeesus out of him (nanggigil ba). Wouldn’t even scratch him. We also used to have this punk of a kitten, very wee, named Karen. She would always try to push Kip from behind. Eventually, they learned to play with each other.

It was always surprising when he would suddenly jump about 5 feet and hang on to our screen door. I’m glad to know he’s no longer frustrated in his flying aspirations now.

He was a sweet cat, and sweeter still that he didn’t want us to see him at his worst. He left his loving family silently, without wanting to bother any of us.

He gave so much to us and we learned a lot from him. And he never asked for anything in return...except for maybe a brand new box of Friskies.

Thank you Kip, for being the best cat.



(Kipkip Ronquillo is the cat of my young sister, Kay-they even have the same initials. You can visit my sister’s site with more photos of Kippy here. She misses him a lot, too.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

magic
-ben folds five-

from the back of your big brown eyes
i knew you'd be gone as soon as you could
and i hoped you would
we could see that you weren't yourself
and the lines on your face did tell
it's just as well
you'd never be yourself again

saw you last night
dance by the light of the moon
stars in your eyes
free from the life that you knew

you're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground
you're the breath that blows these cool winds 'round
trading places with an angel now
saw you last night
dance by the light of the moon
stars in your eyes
free from the life that you knew
saw you last night
stars in your eyes
smiled in my room

that's it. i've officially resigned from my current job.

it's funny how people ask me "hmmmbut why?" with such indignity. i so want to say "why not?" (maybe i will).

it's been a great almost three years. i love my friends there and, yes,the company too. i've just come to that point when i want to do something else. if i stay there any longer, i will never get out of the career field successfully.

it feels great to have done it. i'm a little unsure and nervous about how my next spa treatment/gym dues/shopping money will come from but s'alright. i'm open to getting a simple job that won't totally require all my energy to do exceptionally (well as per my standards)... a job that will allow me to study on the side (even stupid, silly things like hair waxing). i still have enough savings to still provide my sister's allowance for school so at least that's covered.

i finally realized that no matter how hard i kill myself over a good-paying job, i will never be able to totally eradicate my family's current financial woes. so i've just decided to recover my life and help in any way i can... at least my family will see me happy and more loving more of the time.

i used to debate whether this was being extremely selfish but i think i know now that nothing will please my folks more than knowing i didn't compromise anything important in my life.

a job is a job is a job. it's a way to earn a living, not the way to live. some people will see this as a lack of ambition. but to them i will just say that i have a different definition of ambition. one that isn't bordered by money, position, or glamorous/powerful friends. i've tried it...and it's just not worth it.

here i go =)

semisonic will soon be my next favorite band. they don't sound as intelligent as, say, radiohead... or as bang-bang-malabo as dave matthews band... or even as organic as the original eraserheads (pre-sgt. pepper lonely hearts club mimicry).

but they seem to really know their sadness =)

here's a song that can be interpreted as a goodbye to a friend or lover, or the happiness of childhood.

El Matador

Matador sweeps the veil
From the last young day of my life
Malibu tides inhale
Santa Ana Winds from behind

Wade out into the water
No more chances this year
I busied myself all summer
My day for swimming is here
Yes it's time

Seaside revelations
All those dreams and visions of mine
Washed up like a vacation
Lost as I wasted my time

Looking through my dark glasses
I see smiles on the faces of friends
But time keeps pushing me on now
And I'll ride this wave till the end

Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile
Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile

Say goodbye to the weekend
And the last of the summertime sun
Driving off the end of a decade
So many things to be done

September and the trees are restless
Windchimes blow in the dark
Lying on the couch defenseless
With blue clouds court and spark

Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile
Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile
Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile
Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile