i like it here

during my despedida at pdi last february, the art staff gave me a makeshift gift--some randomly gathered bottles, shells, stones, toothpick, other whatnots and one original illustration from their office's cardboard chandelier (don't ask).

the illustration was that of the late honorable mr. raul roco in one of his ubiquitous hawaiian shirts as a presidentiable in 1998.

i didn't regret voting for whomever i voted then. but i regretted not voting for this man.

an error i corrected last year.

with all that was going on, i still voted for him. not because i knew he would win or because he was the intelligentsia's choice. but because i believed in his platform and liked his grassroots approach.

more so, what cemented my handwriting was his simple declaration of still wanting to give filipinos the choice, despite parties urging him to concede because his cancer has returned (and despite a plummeting ranking because of it).

i knew he wasn't gonna take it, but the freedom i felt to choose the way i did instilled in me a little measure of faith in the democratic system.

sure, he was one of the first to concede to GMA, but it was really obvious by then. but i still loved it that i had the Option to put my money on the tropicalia-decked rooster.

if not for anything, thank you for giving me the choice, mr. man.

**************

on a fun note, i used to talk to his media officer whenever i wanted him to speak for an event or when the bigwigs at ex-office wanted an audience. this media person had the most awesome name this side of ansalon...bright liwanag.

yes, i asked her that, too.

"as in maliwanag na ilaw?" and she laughed. she seemed proud of it, too. i loved her guerilla approach to PR, too. seemed to know the niche she's talking to. and she's quite nice, too. doubt if she remembers me but just thinking about her name already makes me smile (not laugh, there is a difference).

heard she's working for recto now. hola, bright!

Been in one. The past month.

No gym. No nights out. No dancing. No videoke. No movies I’ve been looking forward to for the last couple of months.

Don’t you hate it when your body is telling you it can’t take no more? Normally, I will insist on going out or going to work even when I have a raging fever, and I usually have my way, too.

This time, I’m the one imposing this on myself. My lungs feel like a 60 year-olds…and I don’t even smoke!

Add to that, a full can of tuna fell and wounded my head a week and a half ago. It’s still throbbing but its getting less and less.

It sucks to feel you’re not up to par, with your thinking and overall physical prowess. You’re slow and below average.

I need a better drug cocktail.

there's something worth reading in this week's papers.

it's a name.

Tabayoyong.

c'mon, try and say it. right there, where you're sitting.

open your mouth and say, even whisper... Tabayoyong.

ang cute, no?

it's nice to have something to look forward to in the news =)

**************
if a girl has her heart broken by her beau and she suddenly finds herself on the rebound

in the arms of alan rickman, who smirks while tossing and pulling you like that, dancing at the gas station...

isn't that the ultimate panalo moment? =D

i remember when the video first came out and i would squeal to gerwin everytime i see it. he said he loved ogling sharleen spiteri there, and while i kept wholeheartedly agreeing, i also kept saying what an old funky bastard that rickman person is.

i've always liked that song. it's even hopeful, actually. so my single friends, even if your heart was last broken a long time ago, just keep replaying the song in your head. at some point, you'll think, "yeah. there's someone out there who will love me better".

chee. i actually did, too, because i've also been hurt before by other men/guys/boys. until, finally sa wakas, sinagot na rin ako ni ze boy.

but right now, i'm just ogling a special old guy.

**************
when friends ask me what i do for a living, i always say, "i translate english into english."

but for the love of anything holy, here is the mother of all translations:
may the force be with the presbyterian church

These are the people you know will still be your friends in 10 more years...

back in college, my gimmick dates were filled with weird dares to enter the then unoccuppied Metro Manila Film Center, walking in the rain to visit Manila Zoo during signal #4, buying beer at 7-11 and hanging out at the CCP breakwater with people behind us whispering "boss, you want good time?", road trips where i try to pick up girls (while there were four guys in the backseat), late night/early morning walks, acting for a project in artist haunt penguin cafe while joel torre and peque gallaga nonchalantly walk in (probably wondering why two morons kept throwing water at each other over by the bar--that's me and ping trying to act), pushing a suzuki carry-all van at 3:30am in the morning, and red bull for E...

i've missed these friends in the three years i was at PDI. and sometimes, even if my gross now is a little less than my overall net then, i can say i am happy. i laugh more often now (jon, you would be so proud of me :) ) and have more energy to be mabait...which i've discovered has always really been my major goal. but i digress, that's a topic for another post.

date: august 11
place: *sighs* ziggurat
suspects: goyles, ogs & girlfriend, and, from the high heavens of the artistic proletariat, dweeb

i got to meet up with them at around 9pm, thereby missing ogs and his (gasp) sweetie girlfriend. but what the hell, these remaining people still knew how to ring my bell (hi, dweeb *winks*).

nothing astounding, really. we had dinner. joy had 3 kebabs. dweeb wouldn't rape us but didn't mind our groping. i wanted to sing at the carinderia videoke beside the resto...

11pm - after dinner we didn't know what to do so we said, "dweeb, you have the car so take us wherever." and unique, artistic dweeb took us to...starbucks. sa the fort, but we bought ice monster kalokohans.

12mn - we drove around everywhere--sa madidilim na lugar "aldwin wag dito! saklolo!", sa may talahiban, trying to figure out where to go next. and joy, bless her, took us to this big grocery that's still open at 1-2am (24 hours siya, in fairness) called Cost You Less (in quezon city), and I bought giant onion rings and cheetos supposedly for breakfast.

2am (i think) - we get to maddie's ate instant lomi and ogled alan rickman, bo bice and ewan mcgregor, as always...until 5:30am.

and i felt this far away from the edge of the cornfields. malapit na ang salvation!

inquirer, contrary to popular belief, was not my dream job. a great job, a great company that valued its employees, yes, but still. i became a person i didn't like while fulfilling that function (wasn't a bad person, just not who i wanted to be). and i'm still trying to restart (yak, at 26! kay stupid!). but i'm still looking for that place (not really looking for a dream job anymore. i don't believe in "jobs" eh.). right now, my life is quiet and i'm seeing the reasons why i have to work. much, much better.

i missed those weird, sabog days.

thanks, goyles =)

i'm sorry i couldn't get kodak to open to buy a dispo-cam.

it's the company of people, man. your family, your friends, other loved ones that make you smile. not how glamorous your job is, or how fab your outfit is. and i keep learning.

now if i can only get my ageing (more prone to sickness) body to cooperate :)
i haven't had that much fun in aaaaages...

o ye of little faith...

Try chicken satay to freeverse poetry...

Fill your pad with these!

...that cesar montano is extremely talented.

make clicky:
"The film is unique in giving full credit to the Filipino fighters who joined the Rangers and made the local logistics possible by enlisting the secret help of local farmers and villagers (their ox carts were employed to carry prisoners too weak to walk). The Filipinos are led by Capt. Juan Pajota (Cesar Montano), a forcible local actor who steps into the Hollywood cast and adds to its authenticity and sense of mission."
From Chicago Sun Times

"Now for that word on casting. It should have been a warning sign when the best whom Dahl could come up with to play the officers (Lt. Col. Mucci and Capt. Prince) leading the charge into almost certain death were Bratt and Franco, respectively. Both are decent performers, probably on most casting directors’ lists for a good-lucking guy to play one of The Other Detectives in a cop movie, but asking them to carry the load of this film on their backs is just unconscionable. About all Bratt can muster is a wan grimace, while Franco just tries to pout his way through. In what should have been a better move, Joseph Fiennes plays the head American officer, skeletal and slowly dying; like his brother, he can suffer quite admirably on screen, but the ragtag script leaves little else for him to do. About the only actor who leaves an impression here is Cesar Montano, playing the head of a band of Filipino guerrillas. With his slouch hat and swagger, he displays a cocksure, easy arrogance that gives the film some sorely needed star power."
From FilmCritic.com

somewhere in the world, someone is getting a memo for excessive use of company internet resources to surf for something else to learn about bo bice...

*sings*Gonna dress you up with my love

music: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

kasalukuyan kong kinagigiliwan ang bandang ito. nagsimula ang lahat ng patugtugin ito ng akin nakababatang kapatid sa aming kwarto. ako'y namangha. tagos sa puso ang kanilang pag-awit at nawa's nasusugatan ang ngala-ngala ng bidang mang-aawit.

nadadama ko ang emosyon at nais kong tumakbo para lamang makatakbo habang pinakikinggan ang damang-dama nilang mga alay.

sabi nga ng isang matalik na kaibigan, "galit kung galit. patay kung patay.". mabuhay ang My Chemical Romance.

last night, at my ex-boss'/mentor's wedding...

touched base again with an old college crush. Di naman talaga kami magkakilala dati pero familiar face acquaintance type lang because i used to help out several sc friends for events and some special projects.

pogi pa rin siya, although he sort of filled out.

at nagkataon na sa isang table pa kami.

While sitting down, nagkatinginan kami and both smiled. i said "you look familiar" (yah..heard THAT line before..) and he said, "you too".

so we got to talking about dlsu, common people, etc. and he asked me how i helped with SC stuff "so you were helping sina XXX out with the artistic stuff?". I said, "no, i usually play music when you guys have events, or help sina XXX out with simple, admin stuff."

and during lapses in conversation when we would be talking to other people (you know, be polite), i would really catch him looking at me. I would just smile back (with a little ego flutter inside).

And then he started to say things like "a vibrant person like you", "you know what, you could work for a design agency in spain since you get iberian men. you would be a hit there, you know, since they aren't used to tall asian women who are also smart and tough-minded" (or i think that's the second sentence. lumipad na ko eh). some ex-officemate in the same table oh-so-casually mentioned that i have a boyfriend and he says "you have a boyfriend?" i say "yes" and he says "where is he now?" i say "he's in spain, working". "he must be a stud then",he says. i say "he's twice the stud". he says "consider me intimidated, then", and he said those other things.

"since you seem to like holes in the wall, you know another hole in the wall place that you should try? Amor (something)". "you know what, before the night is over, we should get each other's numbers". blah blah blah...

And whenever i would talk to other people (as in nakaharap ako sa taong yon at hindi kay ex-crushie), he would oh-so-arrogantly (in that manly way that i can find weirdly attractive. you know how some boys from coño high schools can speak a little too confidently but not be mayabang. that kind) butt in and say something about it. "oh yeah, i've been hearing so many nice things about that ziggurat place". pero kicker eto: while starting to wrap my fake pashmina around my shoulders, my seatmate and ex-lone-one-woman-astig-staff Gidget asked me why i didn't wrap it around me earlier pa (kasi super lamig, sa simbahan pa lang). sabi ko sa kanya "actually, kanina pa yan tinanong nina chito. pero sabi ko, for the sake of fashion, i insisted on keeping it tied around my waist". eh di tawa kaming dalawa. then he out of nowhere said "actually, i really like it that you tied that thing around your waist". and i said "thank you". again my ego soaring with girlish sighs.

so overall, it was a good night for my semi-busted ego. talking to a gwapo overachiever like that. who seemed to like to talk to me too and seemed to think i'm an interesting person.

and then on the way home, i remembered what killed the crush in the first place. some buddies whom he also knew in college sort of whispered things to me about him. that they were suspecting he was gay (in an i'm-the-butch-one-in-a-gay-relationship kind of gay way)...

and then i also remembered that sometime during our talks that evening, he mentioned that he owns a modelling agency.

farck!

ang ganda-ganda pa naman ng mata niya. the intense dark eyes of a dark pinoy man with spanish bone structure. maybe he goes to a facialist.

why do i find myself drawn to suspected/outright gay men? I'm also finding our gay dance instructor at gym named Arnold quite cute! parang miniature na chinese john leguizamo! ang liit-liit na, bading pa! hamkyuuuut!!!

****************

the wedding was also quite modest, considering who my ex-boss is and who the ninongs/nangs and guests were (we are talking GMA, FVR, Kiko Pangilinan, Bea Lhuiller, Tessa Prieto-Valdes, Jose Mari Chan, etc.). alta sociedad but not look-at-me-i'm-rich. i liked it =D mga 200 lang yung guests and very intimate. and celine looked as pretty as a porcelein doll :)

i never told her she was my mentor. kahit ganun naman kami, nagmahalan din kami nun noh! =D

**************

notes:
1. grilled cheese sandwich makes the world go round
2. the most successful, vibrant people i know are a little in love with themselves. not in a bad way, but just in love with themselves :)
3. MBAs, in terms of what knowledge it gives you, are overated. But it does open doors for people to places that prioritize initials over actual ability.
4. Coffee is bad for your health. Wag makulit sabi!

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

hmmm...coupla months ago, i was a prophet soul...

finally got to see this one and can i just say...

bituin escalante exudes the rawest, most guttural sex appeal. and she's not even Trying to tame that inferno in her belly.

it is so beautiful :)

i promise you it will be worth your while to make click this linky:

why do you stay up so late?

if it weren't so long, i'd want this on my tombstone, too.